No honour among thieves or politicians

IT was summer in all its splendour with the sun blazing white hot in an azure sky, just the hint of a wisp of cloud floating by occasionally.

They sat, in a shady spot overlooking the bay, the two elegant senior citizens with slightly foreign sounding accents.

Their voices floated down to where I, too, admired the bay and stretch of unspoiled beach.

Lovely day.

Lovely indeed.

Lovely country.

Lovely country indeed.

But strange.

Very strange indeed.

I mean, take the goings-on in the fairest Cape. The DA promises clean and efficient governance and fires a senior official who is not delivering.

So the Nats go into a sulk, pull out of the alliance and hint strongly they’ll move to the ANC, if there’s a cabinet post for young Marthinus.

Do you think they’ll give him a pair of long pants to go with the job?

More important: Do you think they’ll give him a job?

Interesting that because when it comes to sacking wayward mayors the ANC thinking is more in line with the Nats (who don’t want to do that sort of thing) than the DA.

Well, look no further than Nelson Mandela’s mayor.

That’s difficult.

Why?

Well, he’s become invisible ever since some money went missing from the discretionary fund.

Ah yes, indiscreet use of official funds.

Redeployment do you think?

Well, he has all the qualifications for a big job in Bisho.

How do think this Marthinus fellow is going to explain to the Western Cape voters, why he is helping the ANC to become the province’s ruling party?

With a bit of help from the ANC, of course. Hell, it takes them years to pass any significant legislation to benefit the country, but they’re prepared to change the Constitution overnight to grab power in the Western Cape which they lost in the election.

Like thieves, there is no honour among politicians when there’s a whiff of power in the air.

Well, it took the war against terrorism off the front page for a day or two.

That it did, that it did.

Troubling that.

What?

The war against terrorism.

Why so?

It seems it could break out here in South Africa.

You think so?

Well, some of those Muslim protesters are vociferously anti the forces fighting terrorism and very much in favour of terrorism in the shape of Osama bin Laden.

Yes?

Well, South Africa is anti-terrorism and has offered the united forces whatever support it can to rid the world of that evil man.

So?

So, if people in South Africa are calling for jihad and death to all infidels and all that, they’ve declared war on South Africa.

And South Africa will be forced to fight back?

Quite so.

The situation does give rise to some strange behaviour.

How so?

Well, there was this chap on the news the other night shouting hysterically that America was using the money of the poor to suppress the Taliban.

And?

Well, I thought the poor were poor because they had no money.

Of course, it’s very strange that these people are demonstrating in favour of a godless tyrannical regime that discounts women as human beings, allows no opposition, education, communication and certainly no public demonstrations – other than public executions.

It’s all very weird really.

True. All this killing for peace is about as sensible as you-know-what for virginity.

On the subject of which, I see that the latest loser from Big Brother was due in Port Elizabeth last night.

What for?

No idea, but she said she was being paid R5000 for being here.

Probably here to promote the sale of fresh produce.

Cucumbers mainly.

True.

Do you think some idiot will pay R500 for her secondhand tanga? You know the one she almost wore most of the time?

I’m sure someone will.

On that subject, did you hear that rather plump lass telling viewers she needed at least three orgasms a day in order to focus.

Focus on what?

Good question.

What does her boyfriend do?

Very little else I imagine.

We shouldn’t knock that programme you know.

Why not?

Well, it has many fans.

How do you know?

The other day I was sitting in the coffee shop listening to four people saying how much intelligent viewing the show offered and how very entertaining it was to listen to all the intellectual discussions in the jacuzzi.

Really!

Yes, really.

And how long did this discussion go on?

Oh, for quite a while. In fact, right until the large men in white coats came rushing in to take them away.

What?

Yes, the men said something about “they keep escaping” from the haven for the constantly confused.

Of course. Of course.