A mother’s unbearable grief echoed through the space where loved ones gathered on Wednesday afternoon to say their final goodbyes to Vanessa van Rensburg, who was brutally killed over the Easter weekend.
Before Charmaine Linde, 60, could take her seat, she collapsed into sobs and her deep, gut-wrenching cries filled the hall with the unbearable weight of a mother’s sorrow.
Throughout the intimate ceremony at Swanlake Gardens in Theescombe, Linde had to be consoled by family members.
While about 100 mourners gathered to pay their respects, Van Rensburg’s long-term boyfriend, businessman Rob Evans, was not present.
The 36-year-old Gqeberha mother of two young children was beaten and strangled at Evans’ Oyster Bay holiday home.
Her body was discovered during the early hours of Easter Sunday.
As per her wishes, she was cremated earlier on Wednesday.
Later, at the farewell ceremony, drinks were served as stories were shared about Van Rensburg through tears, laughter and the pouring rain.
Her sister, Caroline, said she was at a loss for words.
“It’s impossible to truly explain how Vanessa was the greatest adventure of my life — as she was for all her friends and family,” she said.
“Vanessa and I went through our fair share of trials and tribulations. At times, we didn’t speak for weeks — if one of us drank the other one’s Steri Stumpie, then the other would sulk... that’s how it went.
“But no matter what we went through, good or bad, we always had one thing that brought us back to each other.
“We’d say it’s ‘you and me forever’.
“And now, I find myself struggling to understand what that means without her.
“Vanessa brought tremendous meaning to my life.
“From small — maybe because of the age difference — we used to sleep in the same bed.
“I would pray for the Lord to protect her.
“I’d ask that, if anything bad were to ever happen, that it would happen to me instead.
“I’ve said that prayer more times than I can count.”
A friend, Katia Petretto, described Van Rensburg as loyal.
“How can a few sentences spoken carry the weight of a lifetime shared with someone so deeply loved?
“Vanessa was more than just our friend; she was a part of each of our lives, woven into our memories through laughter, late-night talks, quiet support and endless kindness.
“She had a rare gift — she made each of us feel seen, valued and understood.
“Whether it was through her fierce loyalty, her brilliant smile or simply the way she listened when we needed someone most, she was always there.
“It’s hard to accept that we won’t hear her voice again, that we won’t receive her thoughtful messages just when we need them most and that we won’t feel the warmth of her hugs that somehow made even the worst days a little more bearable.
“Vanessa loved deeply and lived in a way that made all of us want to be better, kinder and more courageous.”
Her brother, Johan, then read a poem about the ocean, which was something Van Rensburg had loved.
Brother-in-law Brendon Brooker said he had first met Van Rensburg in 2002 when she was just 13.
“It’s incredibly difficult to capture every moment and memory of her but here are a few special ones that reflect her vibrant and loving spirit,” he said.
“Vanessa was born in Johannesburg in 1988, and unlike her three older siblings, she was blessed with only one forename.
“Perhaps her parents had run out of energy thinking of second names, but it certainly made her unique from birth — the baby of the family with one strong, singular name.
“Poor Johan was the only boy, always outnumbered. Together, the sisters kept their mom in a near-constant state of stress.
“Ironically, it was the girls who acted more boyishly, constantly getting into scraps and accidents.
“Noses were broken, stitches undone and glass windows shattered.
“Caroline once fell through a window and nearly severed her nose.
“Claudette jumped into a table shortly after getting stitches, sending their mom back to the hospital to have them redone.
“Vanessa, though slightly more subtle, was no less hazardous.”
He said she once stuffed what could only be described as a small mattress worth of sponge up her nostrils.
“On another occasion, she swallowed a small battery. It’s a miracle their mother made it through those years with her sanity intact.
“When the family moved to Gqeberha, Vanessa was five years old.
“She braved the move alone with her dad while her siblings stayed behind to finish the school term.
“She quickly made friends with a wonderful, diverse group.
“Even as a child, Vanessa formed deep, lasting friendships and loved being around people.
“Following in her brother’s footsteps, she became a prefect in primary school.
“You’d often find Vanessa sitting on the stoep waiting for her mom to get home so she could give a full account of everything everyone had done wrong that day.
“Later, when her dad remarried and had two sons, Peter and Tom, Vanessa was no longer the baby of the family.
“She loved Peter and Tom dearly and had an affectionate, personal relationship with both of them. She embraced her role as a big sister with warmth and care.”
Van Rensburg’s battered body was discovered in the living room of the double-storey Kabeljou Street house during the early hours of April 20.
Though the exact cause of death is not yet known, it is understood she was strangled and suffered blunt force trauma to the head.
Provincial police spokesperson Brigadier Nobuntu Gantana said a postmortem was performed last week but the results would form part of the murder investigation.
On Tuesday night, Evans, 58, said he was heartbroken.
Evans, who owns Algoa Plastics, had been dating Van Rensburg for about two years. They also worked together.
“I’m very sad,” he said.
“She was such a beautiful person, inside and out.
“She had such a vibrant and bubbly personality and was loved by everyone who knew her.
“She had a heart of gold and always went out of her way to help others.
“For the last two years, we did everything together.
“She was a respected and well-loved member of [the Algoa Plastics] staff.
“She is going to be missed like you can’t believe.
“My heartfelt condolences go out to her family and friends.”
Police were called to the holiday house in the quiet seaside town at about 1.45am after Van Rensburg’s body was discovered by members of a local security company.
Police spokesperson Captain Marius McCarthy said at the time that she was found lying on the floor.
“She had bruises on her body and was declared dead on the scene by [emergency personnel].”
Van Rensburg and Evans had arrived in Oyster Bay that Saturday.
It has since been established the couple attended a braai at a friend’s house that evening but that Van Rensburg left the gathering early to head back to Evans’ house.
She leaves behind two young children, aged four and eight. The father of the children was at the memorial.
Meanwhile, Evans’ long-time lawyer, Danie Gouws, said because it was a closed, family memorial, only by invitation, “neither [Evans] nor any of the Algoa Plastics staff were invited”.
Gouws said Evans and Van Rensburg’s former colleagues at Algoa Plastics would host a separate memorial service on Friday.
The Herald
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