A friend of mine often remarks how we South Africans, in our conflicts, either hit, ignore or sue each other.
The tongue-in-cheek remark contains some truth, as we have become a very litigious society.
Our justified frustration and anger at a range of political and economic shortcomings often convince us to take our complaints and conflicts to our courts.
Our courts do wonderful, important work, and of course some conflicts should be resolved through the assistance of a court of law.
But there remains a tremendous number of conflicts that are referred to courts and various tribunals that have simply become a part of our unresolved conflicts and the resultant increased frustration and anger around us.
Court cases and other similar tribunal resolution mechanisms can take many months, or years, to resolve.
They more often cost money that most of us simply do not have, or could have used in a more constructive way.
The limited options available to a court or tribunal often cannot reach into the essence of the problem, leaving everyone involved more frustrated and cynical than at the start of the process.
The very process itself invariably creates further frustration, fear and animosity, and relationships are destroyed forever, all in this resumed process to achieve justice.
These results often make a bad situation worse, and lead to increased scepticism about people and processes.
Civil disputes are often settled around the question of costs, adding additional burdens on people already under tremendous pressure.
It is good that we have these sophisticated systems available to us, but it is also high time that we work on our conflict competency, and that we acquire the skill to resolve our own professional and personal conflicts effectively, and without having to resort to litigation.
That does not mean we should compromise or be conflict avoidant, but that we learn how to be effective in these conflicts, that we learn the strategies available to us, and that we integrate these modern best practices into our personal lives, our workplaces and how we do business.
Personal conflict skills, mediation, arbitration and a range of other solutions are generally far superior strategies compared to litigation.
Contact Andre Vlok at andre@conflict1.co.za for questions and comments.
