Alcohol and drug abuse. Teenage pregnancy. Poverty. Children dropping out of school.
What if there was something we could do about all of these huge social issues, just by changing one thing in our communities?
The good news is, we can.
Research has shown that when children have a safe, positive and present father or father figure in their lives, they do better at school, are safer from violence (including child abuse and gender-based violence), fare better economically as adults, are healthier, are more likely to finish school, tend to stay away from gangs and avoid alcohol and drug abuse.
Fatherhood is so important because it affects every single one of us.
Whether we grew up with a father who was present, a father who was there but caused more harm than good, or a father who was completely absent, our father stories have a significant impact on our lives.
As Heartlines chief executive Dr Garth Japhet says, “From boardrooms to schools, factories and churches, I’ve never seen a subject that resonates as deeply with everyone.”
Heartlines Fathers Matter is a programme created to encourage the positive, active presence of fathers and father figures in children’s lives to help end these issues in our country.
Fathers Matter recently had the chance to share the importance of positive fatherhood in a Bethelsdorp venue with 60 church leaders representing about 25 different congregations in the Eastern Cape.
The response to the message of Fathers Matter was phenomenal.
We left that time together feeling like this really was the beginning of a movement.
One of the convening leaders at our event in Gqeberha said: “We all agree it’s a critical issue but have never had anything put together that we can use, but now Fathers Matter is a way to respond to this crisis.”
And it really is a crisis, with more than 60% of children in SA growing up without their biological father living in the same home as them.
This is a sobering figure, especially when compared to the global average of 20%.
The crises of substance abuse, poverty, school dropouts and teenage pregnancy are all very real issues that we see in our communities.
During the Bethelsdorp workshop, we had the opportunity to really explore the impact of what happens when fathers are absent.
Importantly, we also got to look at what we can do to change father absence.
SA’s history of migrant labour forced many men to be physically far away from their children to work, and this fracture has impacted our understanding of how important fathers are.
Many children who were raised by loving single mothers or caregivers are flourishing, but we do know that when men are positively and actively involved in children’s lives it benefits the children, women (who otherwise carry a disproportionate weight in raising children), and the men themselves.
Heartlines has created Fathers Matter resources for men, women, churches, workplaces, ECD centres and sports clubs.
We have short films with fictional stories about different aspects of fatherhood that are a helpful way for groups to start talking about what it looks like when a father is positive, active and present.
We also have small-group resources that help churches and communities go deeper in understanding their own father stories, dealing with past pain and hurt, and encouraging men to be a positive presence in their children’s lives.
Our network of representatives around the country is available to run workshops, film viewings and training sessions to help people really grapple with this issue.
For individuals, we have a Fathers Matter WhatsApp coach that gives regular, personal and practical information, tips and tools to fathers to help them connect with their children.
It is a free and easy tool that bridges the skills gap that many fathers feel they have when it comes to parenting.
The church can play such a key role in this movement for fatherhood.
By helping to bring fathers and children back into relationship, we are aligning with God’s heart for restored relationships and healthy families that we see in Malachi 4:6f, where it says: “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.”
At many of our workshops in church communities, we have seen men and women who are deeply affected by what they learn through Fathers Matter.
We have seen healing and repentance taking place and a new hope for children growing.
Believers want to be part of changing the story of fatherhood in SA.
As we celebrate Father’s Day on June 21, the message of Fathers Matter is a reminder of how important fathers are in our families, churches, communities and country.
We can change the trajectory of our nation simply by encouraging and equipping men to step into their roles as fathers and to take seriously the impact that their presence and actions have on children.
Brian Helsby, senior capacity building lead at Heartlines
