A desperate Gqeberha mother whose son constantly runs foul of the law and has even been accused of setting fire to his own sister’s house, wants him to stay in jail because the family has run out of ways to help him.
Heavily addicted to drugs, according to the desperate Bethelsdorp mother, her son has been in and out of rehabilitation centres but this has never done any good.
It is never long before he is arrested or living on the streets again.
The truth is, the family has come to fear him even though they love and want the best for him.
Despite a protection order taken out by his sister after he allegedly assaulted her, the young man allegedly continues to vandalise the family home.
The man was again arrested last weekend, but this time his mother wants him to remain in custody. For the distraught mother, it is a case of having to be cruel to be kind.
“He is my son. I love him. I believe the best for him is to be locked up until we can get him the right help,” the woman, 51, said.
Tragically, social workers say the family’s story is nothing new.
In one of SA’s most infamous cases of addicts turning on their families, Lavender Hill, Cape Town mother Ellen Pakkies killed her son in 2007, having endured years of abuse.
Pakkies was handed a suspended sentence and community service during which time she became a community worker and led the fight against the tik scourge in Cape Town.
The Gqeberha mom said her 27-year-old son also suffered from severe bipolar disorder, which was amplified by his addiction.
The man is currently in custody for violating the protection order, and is due in court on Monday.
“I hope he stays behind bars this time. He was arrested before, but after a few weeks he was released.
“If he isn’t showing up on our doorstep begging for help, then he shouts at us in the middle of the night, throwing stones and breaking windows,” the woman said.
“I’m afraid of my own son.”
A social worker said the young man’s story was the perfect case study for what was happening in many SA homes.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, the social worker said: “There’s a disconnect and an unwillingness among role players to help.
“Whenever a person like [him] is in need of treatment, the police need to be informed so they can take him into custody.
“However, they often refuse, because no official complaint has been laid for an arrest.
“He needs be kept in custody, with or without his consent, and he needs to undergo proper, long-term evaluation and treatment while he can still be helped.”
The woman’s son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2012.
He briefly lived with his sister in Pretoria, but returned to Gqeberha after allegedly setting her house on fire.
His condition worsened when he suffered head trauma in a car accident in 2015, for which he received a substantial Road Accident Fund payout.
“For a while everything was OK. But then at some stage it seemed his medication was no longer working, and I’m not sure when he [allegedly] started using drugs, but he became unbearable,” the mother said.
The woman believes the RAF payout allowed him to buy drugs easily. This made matters worse.
She said he would disappear for weeks at a time.
“He would show up at the house. I could see he was on drugs. He would be wearing torn clothes.”
Sometimes he would be placed in hospital for treatment, but then he was out and the cycle repeated itself.
In October 2020, he moved into a flat at the back of the family home.
However, later that same month he allegedly assaulted his younger sister. This led to a criminal complaint and a protection order being granted against him.
The next month, when an argument over R1 turned violent, he allegedly broke a sliding door and damaged a car.
He was arrested and spent four weeks in prison on that occasion.
The mother said she had pleaded with the court to keep him in custody until he could go to the Fort England Psychiatric Hospital in Makhanda for observation.
“But he was released on bail,” the woman said.
On April 28, the mother had been standing in a bank queue when her son allegedly slapped her cellphone out her hand.
“He accused me of wanting his money, then casually walked away like nothing had happened.”
His latest arrest last weekend came when he allegedly broke the terms of the protection order by arriving at the family home. His mother immediately phoned the police.
A social worker has also since made a recommendation that he be kept in custody until he receives psychological treatment.
“I’m once again pleading with the court to keep him in custody,” the mother said.
“The alternative is to convince him to pay for his own rehabilitation and we can have him admitted to a private facility much sooner. Hopefully the idea of prison scares him into agreeing.
“My fear is, he gets out again, and puts his own life, as well as our family’s lives, at risk.”
SA National Council of Alcoholism and Drug Dependence director Zeldah Makhubele said SA had twice as many people suffering from substance abuse disorders compared to other countries.
She said collaboration with policymakers and family members was crucial to ensure a positive outcome.
The social worker added: “Every time this young man did not receive the proper treatment he relapsed quicker, and his condition worsened.
“He needs to be kept in custody, with or without his consent, and he needs to undergo proper, long-term evaluation and treatment while he can still be helped.”
She said his only hope was to receive private treatment, or to be kept in custody until he could be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Only once those steps had been taken, could his road to recovery start.
HeraldLIVE
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